You can always tell a self-help book seeking patron at twenty paces when they slink up to the desk, look around, and then begin to whisper "I need a book on _____". As you lead them back to the self-help section you are in full therapist mode as they begin to relate all their marital or relationship problems and sexual dysfunctions. On one particularly ick-worthy day I spent a good twenty minutes pinned in the stacks with this guy who kept pouring his heart out to me about his pending divorce and his lack of skill in the bedroom.
After turning down several of his awkward sexual advances, I finally got loose and proceeded to the checkout counter. When he gave me his library card I noticed that we shared the same last name. So I casually asked if he was related to so-and-so and he replied "Yes, that's my dad". Turns out he was my long lost second cousin. We had never met before but I remember my dad telling me stories about poor, old "Cousin Johnny". Is that gross or what?
