Super YAWN!

Well the folks that organize the Super Bowl half-time show sure have gotten lazy.  Madonna?  She hasn't had a hit in years.  Gimme a break!  Now I don't need an excuse to hit the chips and dip table during the half-time show.

Lynyrd Skynrd Sang About It

Ooooooohhh oooooohhhh that smell... I'm sitting here in this fancy, schmancy conference and someone in front of me just passed a noxious fume. How rude! I feel like a countery bumpkin gone to town but atleast I have manners.

Yuck! He just did it again. Its probably that nasty tortellini they served at lunch.

Its Gettin' Buggy In Here

Why on earth would anyone want to buy a perfume or cologne that smells like they were embalmed with DEET? I just don't get it. Do they not have any olfactory senses left? Has their sense of smell been corroded from their own scent? P-U!

Lost in the Stacks

Since the library switched to a new ILS I keep finding reference books on the shelves that are not in the system.  I found eight shelves worth of a foreign-language set from 1923 that (guess who) has to catalog?  That's right, me!  How lovely.

Michael Crichton Wants His Dinosaur Back

Have you ever noticed that people that talk with their hands look like T-Rex's.  Short arms gestating in front of their chests instead of out and to the side. Its kind of like jazz hands.  Flipping back-and-forth and back-and-forth.  Are they even aware of what they are doing? Hmmm...

Fire! Fire!

Experienced my first fire drill in the new library. Curious to see what people will grab when they think there is an emergency - lots of coffee mugs and cigarettes.  Not too many ipads, cell phones, coats or purses were seen.  Strange priorities...

Oh Those Chatty Cathies!

I have resorted to wearing headphones and listening to Classic Rock and '80s One Hit Wonders in order to drown out the silly rantings of the Southern Belles that like to hang out and 'chat' during lunch time in the employee lounge. 

Unfortunately, it's proximity to my work station is too close for comfort so I have a choice to make... get a headache from all the inane conversation or jack up the Led Zeppelin to try and drown them out. 

Why do people think that all others are interested in what their kid did in school yesterday and why do they feel the need to share it in ear splitting tones?

Old El Paso Por Favor

Is it just me or is all cafeteria food bland?  I think I personally keep Texas Pete in business.  I have several packets of the stuff squirrelled away in my desk to douse the nastiness in my lunch.

Giving Drive-Up, Drop Off A Whole New Meaning

Well the local homeless population seem to have confused the idea of a library drive-up window with that of a port-a-loo.  Our maintenance staff keeps having to clean up poo and vomit from around the drive-up window.  Crazy thing is... the window faces a major intersection on a highly traveled street.  Guess they have no fear of dropping trou (amongst other things) in public view.

Fudgin' It

Libraries are all about keeping statistics. I wonder if any library administrator every heard this quote from Disraeli?

There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies, and statistics.

Keep That Sausage in Your Pants

They're serving some kind of stinky sausage in the cafe today and someone thought it wise to bring it to the staff lounge to reheat it.  Now my workstation is overrun with the stench of roasted piggy parts.  Yuck!!!!

March On! Occupy Wall Street

There is nothing more embarrassing than having your debit card denied for a mere $5.22 charge (on pay day no less).  Stupid bank!  Now I'm going to have to waste my time calling the stupid customer service department to see what the heck is going on with my account.

Slipped Right Through My Fingers... Darn It!

I almost got another award today (that would have been the third in two weeks) but the patron didn't know how to nominate me so I had to settle for a nice email in my employee file.  Too bad.  The award system we have here equates to cold, hard cash.  It would have been nice to add a few points to my coiffer.

Oh well... only more motivation to keep providing good customer service.

You never would have heard me utter those words at my last job where everyone comes to work every day and just try to keep their heads down so Queen Bee doesn't come along and chop it off.

Death Grip

Why is it that the people in an organization that are in the most need of retirement refuse to go away?  They constantly hinder any progress being made and you inevitably have to work around them instead of 'with' them. 

I guess some people are just determined to drop dead at their desk instead of admitting that they really have no life to go home to.

Pathetic and sad...

Like Rats Swimming For Shore

All aboard a sinking ship, that is...

Since I left my last position I have heard several crazy stories of the insane changes (or lack thereof) in my old department.  Guess the Queen Bee found me irreplaceable after all. She seems to be scrambling to disseminate my old duties amongst the entire Reference staff instead of just filling my position.  That's what she gets for dumping so many duties on one individual with reimbursement for the time and the trouble to fill the position. 

Since I left they have lost two part-time staff, a paraprofessional, and another Reference Librarian.  Shouldn't this turnover give her a clue that her ship is quickly sinking? Oh wait. That's what a normal, rational person would think. 

IT Breakdown

I spent half my morning trying to log in to a training webinar. I missed the first 20 minutes of this thing because the stupid Internet decided to slow down at the precise moment that I was trying to log in to this webcast.  Geez! 

Sometimes I just hate technology.

Never Too Old to Learn Something New

Found out today where Joe the Camel came from.  Very interesting....

If You Want the Operator Dial 0

Do people not know how to read phone books anymore? Or do they even bother trying to locate one? Everyone seems to call the Ref Desk in order to locate phone numbers these days, which is okay but it goes a little above and beyond my call of duty when they insist that I dial the number first to see if the party they are seeking actually lives there.  If I can't manage to find the listing in the phone book or criss-cross directory I assume that the number is unlisted or they have a cell phone instead of a land line. 

Try explaining all this to a severly deaf and emphatic senior citizen who swears that they once called this number in 1978 and their friend Gloria answered. This request for phone information can soon segue into a multi-state obituary search if one is not adept at their phone reference skills. Doesn't anyone dial 4-1-1 anymore?

Talking In Tongues

Is it just me or is anyone else disturbed by the number of people who now wander around talking to themselves?  Its one thing to talk loudly on your cell phone but when there is no cell phone visible and your hands are flailing about and you are shouting out into space do you ever consider the impression that you are leaving on the people around you? 

There is a secretary here (pardon me, "Adminstrative Coordinator")  that is constantly on the phone and with the invention of the bluetooth headset she now proceeds to take her loud and annoying "personal" conversations  on the road... from her desk... to the bathroom... to the coffee pot... to the mail room, etc.  You can hear her cackle all over the building.

I've even encountered some patrons yelling in the stacks in what appears to be schizophrenic fits or evangelical 'talking in tongues' episodes.   

And I Thought Butt Crack Was Bad

Jeremy Scott fashion show... I hope these designs never make it inside the library.

Mistaken Identities

Why do the powers-that-be around here always put the least qualified or least organized person in charge of a task or a project that requires an attention-to-detail?  Why?

There I go beating my head against that rock again...

Where's A Good Book When You Need One?

I've been searching Overdrive for the last half hour and I still can't find a decent biography to download. I think they'll let anyone publish a book these days whether they are interesting or not.

Gastric Distress

I hate it when you join your co-workers in ordering lunch and then the delivery person is late and you miss most of your lunch hour.  I'm starving....

I've Been Violated!

Some a$$hole stole the emblems off the front and back of my poor 7-year-old car while I was in Wally-World yesterday for a mere 15 minutes.  I'm a librarian for goodness sake.  It's not like I drive a vintage Cadillac or Mercedes yet some punk is probably out running around with my Scion emblem hanging from his neck on a gold chain. 

Kiss My Grits

Why does everything sound sweeter, nicer or funnier with a authentic southern accent?  While dining out the other day I was subjected to the typical toddler tirade at a local restaurant.  This blonde, southern-belle could not have been more than 4 or 5 years old and liked to share her opinion, wanted or not, on every topic under the sun at a level that everyone in the place could hear.  She didn't like what her mother ordered for her and made sure the rest of the the restaurant heard her repeated complaints about the cuisine and at that special pitch that only screaming toddlers seem to be able to reach all the while the stone-deaf mother ignored her insistent child's pleas and continued on with her adult "hushed" conversation.

Then the little girl looks at the mother's companion and inquires "Why did he call the cops on you?"

From the mouths of babes...

End of Summer Re-Runs

Well it's that time of year again... time to count the truant teens that have escaped into the library instead of going to school.  Why do they want to hang out here in the middle-of-the-day anyway?  Are they just not cool enough to think of something more exciting to do?  Why must they inflict their boredom on us?  Go and bug someone else for a change, please!

Is it Friday Yet?

Why is it when you know that you have a three-day weekend coming up the rest of the week just seems to drag on?  Tick...tock...tick...tock...  Why oh why?

When It Rains It Pours

I think a patron is trying to drive me mad!  I had just finished a request for 41 article downloads when he requested another 61 articles which had to be downloaded, printed, put in a binder with a table of contents, and metadata added to the library catalog.  Aarrghh!

Tremors

Okay...the building just shook a little.  Did we just have an earthquake in a non-earthquake prone zone?

Speedy Gonzalez

I had a patron report to my boss the other day that I was really fast in responding to their request for article research.  I hope really fast equates to really good.  We do have our annual reviews coming up in a few months.  Hopefully flattery will equal $$$.  But who am I kidding?  It's still a library after all...

Yummy!

Some international jetsetter in another department just brought in a big bucket of olives that were flown in from Spain.  Apparently they were stuck in customs for a while but they are still oh so good...

Get Out of My Head Miss Patti LaBelle

Do you ever get those ear worms that you just can't shake?  My supervisor is on a two-day road trip so I am left "On My Own" again and that darn Patti LaBelle song from the '80s keeps ringing in my head.  Make it go away.  Puhleeeeeaaaase!

Oh Whoa Is Me...

I got to participate in a library sanctioned day of 'hookey' at the local ballpark.  After spending the afternoon at a company picnic and baseball game I returned this morning to the Ref Desk and discovered a pile of research requests in my inbox.  Karma bit me in the a$$ again.  That's what I get for trying to be a 'team' player.

Who Stole My Butterfinger?

Okay people! What is this world coming to when co-workers nab each other's frozen treats?  I stuck a melted candy bar in the fridge and one of my co-workers appropriated it without my knowledge.  There are always enough sweets floating around the library to send any diabetic into shock so why steal my treat? Aargghh!

Nothing But Compliments

I had my mid-year review the other day and I passed with flying colors.  It's so nice to finally be appreciated for who I am and what it is I do.  I can't say that has always been the case here at the Ref Desk. 

Hurry Up and Wait

Hurry up and wait is all I seem to do when I have to rely on other people to 'help' me help others.  Does this bug anyone else?  You try to provide good customer service but sometimes you can't find the answer alone so you contact the 'experts' for help and the so-called experts are always out-of-the-office or otherwise too important to return your call or email.  Geez!

Flattery Will Get You Everywhere, Right?

What does it mean when a patron comes up to the Ref Desk and asks you a million personal questions about why you do what you do?  Is it pity? Is it disgust? Or just bad manners? What compels people to ask why you work as a librarian?  They all know we are lowly paid and disrespected but why do they have to rub our noses in it? 

Repeat Offenders

I know I've mentioned this before but it still grosses me out.  Why do male library patrons always drag the newspaper or a magazine into the bathroom?  Women don't do that. It's disgusting!  It's one thing to do it at home when all  your spreading is  your own cooties but in a public restroom with public access materials.  Yuck! 

No Change - Is That Good or Bad?

My boss returned from vacation yesterday and I'm still doing all the work while she gets caught up on emails.  Is that more reflective on me or her management style?

Pity Party

Why is it when you wake up and don't feel well but you muster the gumption to go work anyway the day always goes by soooooooooooooooooo slow. Is it karma biting me in the a$$ or what?

Last Day of Freedom

Well today is my last day alone in the library.  My supervisor returns on Monday.  I have managed to accomplish a lot while she was gone.  I got all the shelves re-labeled with the proper call numbers; I cleared out and processed all the books stashed in the back office; I processed new orders and did all the research requests for the last two weeks.  My desk is clear.  Now if 5:00 would hurry up and get here...

Shoot For the Moon

Got an obscure request this morning.  Someone wanted a complete glossary of terms used in a particular industry.  Why don't you just shoot for the moon or something?  Sure... I'll get right on that! Compiling thousands upon thousands of terms into one nice, concise email for you to enjoy.  Gimme a break!

The Meaning of Service

I guess some people just don't know the meaning of good service anymore.  I needed to get an ILL ASAP for a VIP and I called the lending library to try and expedite the service and I was answered with a curt reply stating that they were severly understaffed and that they couldn't possibly walk to the microform cabinet, pull a microfiche card and make a mere 17 copies for me without it taking 3-4 days. 

So being the resourceful person that I am I personally drove to the library in question (a mile down the road) and asked for assistance in locating the microform room and the student worker wasted 10 minutes of my life trying to locate the same exact information in the library catalog that I had printed out and presented to her at the beginning of my quest.  She then pointed me in the direction of another library across the vast college campus which should have the journal so I set out on another trek in 95 degree heat to find the elusive journal article. 

The second student was much more helpful but yet again the library did not have the particular year in bound periodical form that I needed.  He ended up referring me to yet another affiliated library at the local hospital.  Rather than suffer heat stroke I decided to forfeit my adventure and return defeated to the Ref Desk. 

So much for going the extra mile.  It only bites you in the a**!

Fire In the Hole

I once retrieved a returned book from the book drop and the whole thing smelled like it was doused in gasoline.  Thank goodness there is no smoking allowed in the library. The whole place would have erupted if someone struck a match.

Did someone save it from a trash pile and decided to turn it in? 

When I called the last known patron to let them know that the book was damaged and beyond repair and that they would have to pay for a replacement copy the woman refused to acknowledge her misdeeds and insisted that she only used her 'gas card' as a bookmark. 

Man Down

The Reference Department just lost a librarian and two part-timers.  Whatever is "Miss Jane" to do?

Off With His Head

"Mr. Sarcasm" is leaving the Reference Department.  Somebody out there was dumb enough to hire him to be a library director.  Good luck people!

Talking to Myself

Talk back people.  It's getting lonely here in blogworld.

Found a Boo Boo

I had a research question today that turned up something curious.  I was trying to locate an article that resulted from a presentation given way back in 1996.  The citation provided was from a reliable and noteworthy source but upon further investigation it turns out that the paper was never presented and the results of the study were never released yet the author and title are clearly noted in the bibliography of this major reference work.

Somebody at the publishing house didn't do their "research".  Verify your sources.

Shame... Shame...

Any Suggestions?

My supervisor took off without helping change the cartridge in the large-scale laminator.  Does anyone know how to get the new roll installed?  I can't even figure out how to take the guard off.  Help!

21st Century Meltdown

I have finally joined the 21st Century, not only do I have an iPhone but my wonderful boyfriend just bought me an iPad.  You can't keep me off the thing.  I've been sucked into the touch screen vortex.  Is there any way out now?

Twiddling My Thumbs

I think I spend the majority of my day waiting for the library catalog to load.  Why can't someone invent a system that doesn't take an eternity to open and move files about?  Aargghhh!

On the Road Again

Well folks, looks like I will be manning the ship all alone for the next two weeks while my supervisor is on (her second this year) vacation.  Must be nice to have five weeks of vacation a year.  To dream... To dream... Whatever shall  I do with myself?

Need A Gas Mask

Reinforcements needed STAT!  Someone keeps walking past my desk wearing the stinkiest, most lingering, nauseating perfume.  I'm choking from the fumes!  Help! I think I'm getting light-headed and about to pass out.  Seriously....

Idiot Proof

IBM celebrates their centennial this week.  After all those years why can't they make an idiot proof photocopy machine? I get so frustrated by staff and public alike that don't bother to read the diagram or the instructions and continually jam or loose their copies in the machine.  People...get a clue!

Why 'O Why

Why are people in Hollywood so dense?  I saw an ad for a new version of Conan the Barbarian.  The first one sucked so why try and repeat it with a former Baywatch star? 

Unrealistic Expectations

I once had a girl approach me at the Ref Desk and ask for help in locating any books that we had on strategic defense satellite systems.  She apparently had just graduated from boot camp and wanted to bone up on the subject before her duty assignment.  She seemed unphased when I told her that we generally didn't stock military-grade texts in the library.

Tears of A Clown

Have you ever heard someone talking on the phone (rather loudly) and you can't tell whether they are laughing or crying?  Happened to me this morning.  I didn't know whether to try and console the person or mind my own beeswax.  Totally confusing...

Are You Talking To Me?

Bluetooth users totally suck! What else are you supposed to do when someone is standing in front of you talking and looking in your direction?  When you ask them if they need any help or if they can repeat the question, they actually get upset with you for interrupting their conversation.  Like I'm the one the being rude....

Who You Gonna Call?

My supervisor is about to embark on the first of what I suspect is many vacations this summer.  Things are not boding well.  She was supposed to be out-of-the-office today but showed up for a meeting.  Luckily she was here to tackle a particularly sticky situation but I have a feeling all heck will break loose while she is gone and I'll be up sh** creek without her.

Snapping Turtles

I don't know if it is the hot weather outside or just the fact that it is a Tuesday that feels like a repeat of Monday but I have one of those exhausting headaches that just won't go away.  Don't tick me off today people, I just might snap.

Another One Bites the Dust

I've worked with two people who have fried their iphones by dropping them in the toilet.  I hate to say it again but low-rider pants should be outlawed. If your pants don't cover your butt crack surely the back pockets aren't going to be deep enough to carry around your electronic devices.

How to Train Your 'Puppy'

I think we're going to have to start using puppy pads in the public restrooms. Men just can't seem to hit the right spot anymore.  Can Cesar Milan train people too?

Fly Fishin'

"Lady Wrangler" is always taking days off when the weather is good and heading out to the nearest lake, stream or river.  One day his elderly mother called the library to speak to her son but as usual he was a state away fly fishing on some remote stream.  When he returned I told him that his mother had called several times that day wanting to talk to him.  He told me the next time she called to tell her to call his cell phone and to tell her he was 'at lunch' or 'in a meeting'. He didn't want her to worry.  Boys and their mothers.... tricky!

R.I.P. Marshal Dillon

"Miss Jane" is in mourning today, her beloved 'crush' James Arness has passed away. Let's hope those twins from The Suite Life live long and prosper...

Freaky Friday

Why do people always wait until Friday to request a butt-load of information?  Like they are really gonna read all that research on the weekend when it's sunny and 80 degrees outside.  Gimme a break!

Call Me Old Fashioned

I guess I'm an old fashioned librarian that still thinks of the library as a quiet place.  These new fashioned collaboration stations just don't jive with me.  If you want to get together and talk do it in a coffee shop or a book store don't disturb my peace in the library.... please.

Eyes of Laura Mars

What is it with patrons that like to stare at you at the Ref Desk?  Are they deluded?  Are they near-sighted?  It's really unnerving sometimes when you feel like you are on 'display'.

Google This!

Don't you hate it when you ask one of the techie types a computer-related question and they look back at you with disgust like "Don't bother me with your inane questions"?  Their answer at least in my experience is usually "I don't know... I can't think about that right now... Can't you google it?"  So much for subject expertise...

Do It Yourselfers

Sometimes I really can't stand those know-it-all, do-it-yourself patrons that think that they can retrieve the information that they want faster than you can. 

They probably can because I'm not standing over their shoulder, breathing down their neck, clock ticking over their shoulder, watching every keystroke they make on the computer while they are trying to perform a professional level search.

Deja Vu All Over Again

I forgot my library keys this morning so I had to turn the car around and drive 14 miles back home to retrieve them off my dresser.  Ever had one of those days that just starts off bad and keeps getting worse and worse?

In Memoriam

Have a nice Memorial Day everyone even if it is a somber occasion.  

He Really Had 'To Go'

My supervisor walked past my desk laughing like a hyena.  When I asked what was going on she nearly popped a stitch repeating her encounter with a co-worker in the women's restroom.  She was standing there washing her hands when all-of-a-sudden a man walks out of one of the stalls and moseys up to the sink to wash his hands. He apparently realized something was wrong when he didn't find any urinals in the stall but that didn't stop him from completing his business.

Piece of Crap

I tried three times (on a tablet computer) to send the previous message yesterday and all I got was a bloody headline.  Stupid POS.

Oh My Aching Neck!

Is anyone else out there bothered by all the hunching over that you have to do with all these new fangled tablet computers?  I get a killer headache and finger cramps every time I try and use them.

Why Me?

Why do people always stop and ask me for directions?  Do I have a sign tattooed on my forehead that says information?  No! 

Holiday Hell

Well here it is another summer and the start of my holiday season from hell.  Seems like I always get stuck working from June to September while everyone else is busy taking a summer vacation. My supervisor has already informed me that she will be gone for most of July.  Just great!

Training Wheels

Sitting through another training session today.  Hope I learn something new.

Seeking Ideas

Have any of you out there ever designed a user satisfaction survey?  I need some good questions...

Yee Haw

I can finally use the remote login at work so technically I can now telecommute from home one day a week.  Now I just have to figure out how to smuggle my work monitor home so I don't have to squint at my meager screen anymore. 


Hey Santa are you listening?  I need a new computer.

No Cookies 4 U

G-String Divas - Part Deux

When did it become fashionable to show your underwear at work anyway?  Not only do people let their g-strings hang out but bra straps are always peeking out from under sleeveless tops as well.  My poor deceased mother would never have let me out of the house looking like that.  She would have been mortified to see her daughter out in public that way.  

Brit Com

The Hollywood Librarian

You Spin Me Right 'Round

We had a patron barf in the trash can after scrolling through microfilm in our genealogy room the other day.  He got motion sickness from watching the film speed past on the screen.  Yuck!

How Rude?

Does anyone else find it annoying when someone IMs you and strikes up a conversation only to abruptly log off?   I mean, how rude is that?

Oh Loverboy!

Do you remember that 80s song "Everybody's workin for the weekend"?  I've got it on a loop inside my brain and it won't go away.  Darn brain worm!

Rastafari Wut?

What is it with white suburban teenagers that think its cool to go tribal or au naturel?  You know the ones that hang out in parking lots playing hackey sack with beads and dreads in their hair.  They rarely bathe and try to mask their odor with patchouli.  They also have a penchant for piercing their parts with pieces of wood.  Don't they realize that noses and ears are made of cartilage that continues to grow as we age.  Just leave those lobes alone kids and you'll eventually look like Abe Vigoda without the stylish accessories.

Faux Injuries

What is it with people who over dramatize their health problems?  I went to high school with a kid who hobbled around on crutches for a week gaining sympathy from anyone who would listen about his injured foot which turned out to be a simple hangnail on his big toe (I guess the dude never heard of toenail clippers).  Anyway, the reason I ask is that there is a lady that I work with that walks past my desk every day wearing a sling on her arm yet it doesn't prevent her from performing mundane tasks like turning a door knob.  What is up with that?

Question

Does anyone out there know where you can buy a VCR (gasp!) nowadays? 

Fax Schmax

Have fax machines become irrelevant?  With all the desktop publishing features available nowadays are fax machines really necessary in the office when you can simply create a .pdf version of a document and forward it by email?

Clippety-Clops

What is it with women who wear noisy shoes to work?  I know it is springtime and everyone wants to be stylish but it is pretty bad when a woman walks by (on carpet no less) and you can hear her coming from 40 yards away.

Calling Mr. Newman

Do you work with someone that keeps their office so hot (even in the summer) that you feel like whipping out the marshmallows and graham crackers and toasting some smores?  Why can't 'freezy-people' learn to acclimate?  It's not like the rest of us can come to work naked when we get too hot. If you get cold, bring a sweater to work.  Don't crank up the thermostat or practically burn the building down with your portable heater tucked away under your desk (they are a fire hazard, after all). 

Where's Randy Newman when you need him?  He wrote that song about short people, surely he can come up with some lyrics about freezy people too.

Nit Picker

Why is it that those so-called homeless people that inhabit the library who never use their Internet time to job search or do anything that appears to be productive in changing their circumstances always seem to have money for a new iTunes download or a new tattoo? Strange priorities, huh? 

Pop Ur Top

Have you ever had one of those headaches that just won't go away?  Wouldn't it be nice if we came with interchangeable heads that we could just pop on and off depending on our mood?  Kind of like a human pez dispenser.

Bureaucratic Nightmare

The worst people to return phone calls or emails are government employees or people that work for service organizations that have a direct impact on your daily lives.  I've been waiting for two days for a lady to return my call. So far no luck. It seems like the more you try to contact them the more they deliberately drag their feet in helping process your complaint.  Whatever happened to karma?

Snail Mail

Why do people always get mad at you if you don't return their emails right away but they never show you the same courtesy.  They are always 'out-of-the-office' or taking a break from social media.  Gimme a break! 

Get A Room

Why do large crowds congregate in small rooms?  Why is it never the reverse?  Do small groups feel self-conscious in large spaces and adapt accordingly?  Large groups never react that way.  They always try to squeeze as many people in a small space as possible instead of moving the whole shebang to a large meeting space.  Is it a lack of common sense or what?

Stop the Insanity!

I am being bombarded with emails from the training class that I had last week except these are exercises that I never participated in.  I'm so confused!  Why are the email gods against me today?

A Chorus Line?

Is it strange for a middle-aged man to know all the words and dance moves to the High School Musical movies?  

Three Peat

Last day of tech classes.  Hope I'm not flying alone today.  Yesterday's class went well and we even finished thirty minutes early. 

Oh Whoa Is Me

Three whole people in my class today. I am really moving up in the world.

Slippin' Into Madness

Well folks it happened again the other day... I was sitting in a meeting and a co-worker looked over at me and gave me a funny look.  I thought maybe I was blocking his view so I scooted my chair back a little but no!  He caught up with me on the way back to my desk and told me that I had my shirt on inside out. 

Luckily it looked the same inside as it did outside so no one else noticed the big tag sticking up on my back.  Unfortunately, it's not the first time I've gotten dressed in the dark and gone to work with my clothes inside out.  One day I came home and was struggling to get my bra off and give 'the girls' a little relief and I soon discovered that I too had gone to work that day with my underwear on inside out.  That's what too much stress does to a person I guess.

Cinderelly... Cinderelly...

I hate laundry day!  Why can't have I have little mice and birds come by and wash and fold my 'delicates' for me?

10 Men + 1 VCR = Chaos

"Lady Wrangler" belongs to a hunting and fishing club that meets every couple of months at the library.  During their meetings they have guest speakers and the like.  If it's a slow night they'll pop in a video of somebody trout fishing or butchering meat.  Real snooze fest in my opinion but occasionally I'll get a panicked summons to the meeting room because they can't get the VCR to work.  Turns out the tv channel was wrong or the whole thing wasn't plugged in. No one in the whole group stepped up to figure it out.  Maybe they need to spend less time in a trout stream and more time being a couch potato in order to know how to navigate today's antiquated technologies.

Amy 'Whine'house

Do you ever encounter members of the public that are total Internet crack addicts? We have plenty here to spare if you would like one of your very own. You know the ones - they get upset over anything and everything that disturbs their online session or prevents them from getting their full two hours on the Internet every day. People...you need to call Dr. Drew and get yourselves to rehab.

911

Server down! Server down!  The public is ready to mutiny and take off our heads because they can't check their Facebook and watch YouTube.  Send reinforcements. Stat!

Yahoo Serious

Why do people that come to the library to check their email and who are paranoid about other people seeing their information always forget to properly log out of their Yahoo email?  Don't they realize that the next person that comes along and tries to access yahoo mail can login to their account?  Log out people!!

Simmer Down Now

Why do people that are sitting two feet from each feel compelled to shout at each other like they are standing across the room? 

Teacher, Teacher, Can You Teach Me?

When the library received it's computer lab through a grant from the Gates Foundation, "Miss Jane" was flown out to Seattle to receive Microsoft training so that she could provide free computer classes to the public.  Since then she has declared that she is tired of teaching and has sought out several 'volunteers' to take over teaching the public computer classes.  We get calls just about every week from people needing help but "Miss Jane" won't suck it up and offer to teach any more.

All By Myself

I can't believe it.  I went to my training workshop yesterday and I was the only one there.  I spent the next 8 hours being lectured by this poor guy who seemed uncomfortable only talking to one person.  I learned a lot but it was still weird.

Hidden Treasures

Why do people feel compelled to squirrel things away in the library?  If you take a book off the shelf, why do you feel the need to tuck it away in another part of the library?  You never come back for it.  It just stays lost until a library staff person finds it and re-shelves it in its proper place.  I'm glad they are only books and not nuts stored for the winter.

Death by Chocolate

"Miss Jane" traveled home to visit her family one Christmas with a bag full of delicious chocolate candies to put in her stocking.  She returned from the trip in a deep funk that lasted for a month.  When we asked what was wrong all she would say was "My brother told me I was eating too much chocolate".  Some brother...

Training Day

I have to attend a technology training class today.  I hope the instructor actually knows how to use the product.  I hate getting stuck in a training class when I have a question that the trainer can't answer and I always get the same reply "I'll have to check with our tech people and get back to you on that one".  

Passing the Buck

My supervisor recently returned from a few days off from work. While she was gone she asked me to forward any reference emails to her personal email folder so she could respond to them from home.  Meanwhile I was keeping everything up-to-date and requests filled while she was gone or so I thought.  Yesterday she dumped all of her old email requests into the reference email folder so I had to do not only the new requests but a weeks worth of her old stuff too. Why wasn't she forwarding this stuff to me to process while she was gone? Now I have twice as much work to do... mine and hers.  Thanks a lot!

Men!

Why are men so squeamish about relationships?  If they don't want to be in one, don't hang around women who do.  That's what the professional girls are for, right?  Or are they just too cheap to go that route? 


I've been dealing with some major sister drama... some guy didn't have the cajones to break up with her in person.  He just couldn't talk about it so he sent it in an email.  So I've had to hear all about it.  Thanks a lot, jerk!

I'm Back!

Sorry for the lack of posts the last couple of days folks.  I just needed a break!

Barking Mad

Do you ever get personal phone calls at work that literally make you cringe when you hear a certain name is on hold for you?  I do...

Another Day, Another Dollar

Well it's nearing the end of another shift at the Ref Desk.  Not much happened today.  Spent most of the day forwarding emails to my supervisor (who is still on vacation).  I wouldn't need to forward the email if she just would have instructed on how to do certain things during her absence.  C'est  la vie.

Do I Offend?

People keep coming up to the Ref Desk and asking for my supervisor (who is on vacation) and they seem perturbed when they have to settle for my help.  What is wrong with them? With me?  Do I offend their sensibilities or do they not have any faith in the new girl?

So Shall It Be Written

Did anyone else spend the holiday weekend watching the traditional airing of The Ten Commandments?  One question..why can't ABC present it without commercials?  That movie lasts longer than the Oscar telecast. It reminds me of the good old days of the miniseries.  All it needed was Jaclyn Smith.

On My Own

My supervisor is taking a few extended days off so I'm left manning the Ref Desk all by myself for a few days.  This should be interesting...

Grindstone

Ahhh...back to the grindstone after a short weekend respite.  Don't you just hate the first day back to work after a holiday?

April Showers Bring...

More transients into the library after they get kicked out of the City Mission after lunch.

Drowning Thyself

What is it with people that drown themselves in patchouli?  That stuff smells worse than ammonia.  It literally takes my breath away and not in a good way.

Bobbsey Twins

"Miss Jane" was tired of her old Justin Bieber do so she took a picture of "The Duchess" to her hairstylist to copy her look.  Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, right?  

I Love Holidays

Four-day work week!  Woo Hoo!!!!

Road Rager

I've had the worst luck with discourteous drivers lately.  It's really contributing to my road rage.  I don't know what it is with people who don't know how to use their turn signals.  The other day I was driving through a parking lot at a major retail chain and the car in front of me stops dead in the road and just sits there.  I'm thinking are you waiting for a car to pull out or what but too much time had passed for that to have happened. 
Meanwhile this huge SUV decides to forsake all others and squeeze past us on the left (not knowing if a small child or other pedestrian was just lying in wait to jump out from behind a parked car) all the while the car in front of me just sits there. 

My passenger suggested that I lay on the horn and I held up my hands in a questioning gesture like 'What are you doing?' and finally the car moves into a spot on the right side that a car had just exited and as I'm pulling up I notice not one, not two but three empty spaces just beyond where they pulled in.  Is it me or was that simply rude? Is it too much to ask for you to signal that you're turning?  We did all learn that in driver's ed way back in high school, right? 

Snuffaluffagus

I hate this wacky weather we're having.  I can't keep from sniffling, sneezing, coughing and aching.  Just like the commercial says.  I have to blow my nose so many times a day I should buy stock in Kleenex.

Book Police

People don't realize that when books are deaccessioned from the library they end up in one of three places.  Either we discard them and send them to the Friends Book Sale or we strip the covers off and send them to the recycler or they get boxed up and thrown in the trash.  We had to start boxing the trashed books because one of our maintenance guys was caught dumping a bunch of paperback novels in the city dumpster and they were reported to the Book Police who complained to our director.  What we can't give away has to be thrown away unfortunately.

Free Lunch

Do you work with people that never associate with others during your lunch hour until a vendor comes along and offers to take everyone out to a free lunch and those same people are the first ones in line?  Go figure...

Time Suckage

It's pretty sad when you want to do more work but I feel like I could be a whole lot more productive and get more things done at work if the stupid computer system would just do what it is supposed to do instead of getting hung up and timing out all the time. I spend half my time waiting for things to move or pages to load.  

Pepe Le Puke

Okay.  Someone is re-heating their lunch and it smells fishy.  Literally.  Fish smells make me wanna puke.  Literally.

Upside Down and Ba$$ Ackwards

Why can't people follow the simplest instructions?  I had to make a photocopy of a local history book because the binding was obliterated and all the pages kept falling out.  So I made the photocopies and got a binder and a box of sheet protectors and asked a fellow staff member to help me out by loading the pages into the sheet protectors and putting them back in order in the ring binder.  Easy enough, right?  Not where I work. 

I went to inspect the final product before I made the spine label and cover insert and found that not only were the pages not in order but the sheets were loaded inconsistently and more importantly upside down.  So the first person to stand the binder up would have half of the pages fall through the open end of the sheet protectors because someone didn't take the time or didn't care enough to make sure that they were loading them in a logical manner.  Aarrgghh!

Paper, Scissors, Glue

"Mr. Sarcasm" is also in charge of arranging public speakers to give presentations or arrange public displays for the library.  One man called and sold his display as an epic in state history, something that no one else had ever attempted.  "Mr. Sarcasm" readily snapped it up sight unseen but when the guy showed up to install his historic presentation all he had was nine science fair project type display boards with pictures cut out of magazines or printed off the Internet with names and dates underneath.  Most of the captions with historic factoids were wrong as well but since it was promoted in the library newsletter we were forced to display this 'embarrassment of riches' for an entire month.

Matinee at the Bijou

"Mr. Sarcasm" used to offer free movie nights at the library along with popcorn and refreshments until one of our patrons decided to lift the tip jar.  One bad apple can spoil it for everyone or in this case the two patrons that regularly showed up for the free snacks.

Can't Be Bothered

I know it may sound like I pick on coffee drinkers a lot (they make such easy targets) but have you ever noticed that when the coffee pot runs low, they will take time out of their busy day to dump the old pot and brew a whole new one? Yet they can't be bothered to show the same courtesy when other stuff around the office needs attention like the staples in the stapler run out or the pencil sharpener is overflowing and needs to be emptied.

Stupid Klutz

I learned the other day that some guy fell down the last section of stairs in the central staircase of the library in full view of staff and patrons.  He apparently sustained some minor injuries but at the time he claimed it was all his fault yet the library ended up settling out of court and paying the guy like $40,000.  


I could fathom the settlement if it had been our fault due to a faulty railing or bad carpeting but the guy tripped and fell all on his own and admitted as such yet the library paid him off anyway. But when a staff person fell off a ladder and tweaked their knee and was laid up for more than a week, the library wouldn't even turn it in to Worker's Comp. They made them use their sick leave.  Go figure...

Expiration Date

One of my least favorite duties at the public library is being a notary.  There was one crazy lady who kept bringing the same handwritten diatribe in every couple of days to get it notarized every time she found a typo or didn't like a certain paragraph she had written.  She even brought it back when she saw that the person who notarized it stamp had expired.  She thought her document had expired too so she wanted someone with a fresh expiration date to re-notarize it.

Death and Taxes

As the tax deadline approaches I'm reminded of those particular patrons (and every year there are a few) that come into to the library to fill out a FAFSA application or something similar and they need a copy of their tax return from their summer job at Taco Bell only to discover that their cousin Bubba that filed their taxes online last year didn't save a copy of their return.  They all just assume that since it was filed in cyberspace that they can easily download it from somewhere. Unless they printed out a paper copy or cousin Bubba saved the file on his computer they're not going to be able to retrieve it at the public library.  Sorry folks...

Happy Trails to You

This lady came out of the restroom one day with a three foot piece of toilet paper stuck to the bottom of her shoe.  Could she not feel it on there?  I thought that was just a bad movie cliche like the lady with her skirt tucked into her pantyhose but I've seen both here at the library.

Hail Hail the Gangs All Here

I can't recall the last Monday morning when the entire Ref Desk staff showed up to work.  I don't know what it is about Mondays and Wednesdays but they seem to be the optimum days for calling in sick or taking a personal day.  I'm guilty of it myself.  I just can't face all the craziness of the library on some Monday mornings.  The thought of it is just too overwhelming.

Count Chocula

Just found out something that I think is interesting.  You may already know this but I was surprised to find out that they put dark chocolate and cocoa in cigarettes. You can actually smell it in the tobacco.  

Brat Patrol

I don't know how working mothers do it and I don't really care to learn either.  What I'm talking about is managing small children at home and all their tirades.  My supervisor has a small child and he keeps her coming in late every day because she has some crisis or another involving this 'brat' for lack of a better word.  The kid has a hissy fit over everything. 

This morning she was on time and just about to leave him at his preschool when she blew him a kiss and he burst into tears.  She spent the next twenty minutes trying to soothe the little monster.  He saw the other kids eating breakfast and he was hungry too but he had another little outburst because one little girl was drinking water when everyone else had juice so he wanted water too. So my supervisor had to make a special trip to the cafeteria to appease the little stinker which made her late for work yet again.

Not a Morning Person

We have another regular patron who lives across the street and comes to the library bright and early every morning to check out, renew or check in her library materials.  She is so relaxed that she comes over in her fuzzy house slippers and pajama bottoms.  Most of the staff are used to her but the patrons find her voice a little jarring.  You see, she has one of those high, shrill voices.  Patrons ask us all the time to ask her to hold it down but to no avail.  She has only one volume - LOUD!

T.G.I.F.'d

You're probably thinking it's Friday, right?  Not in this case.  TGIF'd today equals two girls in flagrante delicto. I don't care what your sexual preference is: girl/boy, boy/boy, girl/girl.  It doesn't matter to me but I don't care to be subjected to watching you engaged in slathering tongue hockey sessions while on the public Internet computers.  No one wants to see that.


Well... I take that back.  The pervy guy with his hand down his pants on computer no. 9 is probably enjoying it but no one else is.  You're just making everyone else uncomfortable. So put it away or take it outside.

Aussie Spumante

Most of our regular inebriants are just that, inebriated. There's no fuss, no muss. When they are confronted, they admit their condition and quietly leave the library but there are a select few that once they have been awakened and told to leave will actually stand up and try to engage you in a lively debate over how well they hold their liquor all the while they stand there 'tay ina win' as Nell would say, bleary eyed and boastful.

Where's Clarabelle?

There is a regular patron who cavorts around the library carrying a dummy.  You know, one of those dolls like Howdy Doody.  I've never seen him attempt ventriloquism. He just carries the dummy around all day.  He walks through the stacks, surfs the Internet and stands in line to checkout materials at the circulation desk all with this dummy in his arms.

Uh, What's Up Doc?

A guy came up to the Ref Desk today wearing pink bunny ears and searching for a lost Easter egg.  Oddly enough, he was not the first costumed creature that I've encountered during a typical work day.  

Mad Hatters

Nothing quite like starting your morning watching a bunch of mad patrons wandering through the library stacks on an Easter egg scavenger hunt.  Too funny!

Dorothy Needs A New Pair of Shoes

Just saw on Huffington Post that Hollywood is remaking "The Crow" movie.  Why?  With all the great books out there crying out to be made into film, why does Hollywood keep making these retreads of old 80s t.v. shows and movies that were already made and in some cases made badly to begin with?  What's next "The Facts of Life" or "What's Happening" movie?

Help spur dvd sells by re-releasing the old t.v. shows and movies from the 80s and 90s and keep movie theaters supplied with fresh new material and hopefully not another comic book come to life movie. Give us a break. Please....

Rollin Rollin Rollin

We had to implement a no tobacco use policy in the library because our maintenance staff was constantly cleaning up dried tobacco out of the cracks and crevices of the furniture from where people had 'rolled their own' cigarettes and those disgusting creatures that like to spit tobacco wads and juice in our trash cans. Now if we could only stop people from smoking in the boys room we would be doing just fine.

Dubious Honor

Happy Librarian Appreciation Day!

We Don't Need No Stinkin' Lunches

Why is it that people that bring stinky lunches always position themselves in the lunchroom in front of the microwave so you are forced to inhale the nastiness of the bulger concoction that are trying out this month on their 'special' diet?  They monopolize the conversation with their die-hard political views and force you to sit through inane soap operas or right-wing talk shows while you are just trying to relax and unwind from another stress filled day at the Ref Desk.

What? No Caffeine!

Coffee drinkers can be real snobs sometimes.  There is one particular lady in the library that likes to brew a fresh pot of (OMG) decaf. One of the more austere caffeine abusers gave her a real tongue lashing for taking his pot of the real stuff off the warmer while she brewed her non-toxic version.

Better Late Than Never

Anytime "Miss Jane" can find an excuse to come to work late she takes it.  She will offer to work an extra evening shift or schedule doctor's appointments for mid-morning just so she can come to work by 1 pm.  I've heard of late risers but she really takes the cake.

I Need 0xygen

Why are conference rooms always stuffy?  No matter how long the meeting lasts there is never enough oxygen in the room once the blow hard giving the presentation gets underway.

Need A Good Dose

I am in desperate need of an IV of caffeine and a good kick in the pants to get going this morning.  The weekend was too short and I just don't want to get out of bed this morning.

Rapido Rapido

Why is it that the patrons that are the most demanding and want everything right now are always the ones that come in five minutes before the library is about to close and we're starting closing procedures?  It's not our fault your kid waited till the last minute to tell you that they have a book report due tomorrow and you didn't think to call ahead and ask us to pull the materials for pick up at our drive-thru window not to mention the fact that you didn't call and ask what time the library was closing before you left the house.

Essence de Mexico

I hate it when I'm especially hungry and I'm stuck covering both lunch shifts at the Ref Desk and inevitably someone who works down the block at the Mexican restaurant comes in and they smell like burritos and salsa.  It makes my stomach growl.  

Oompa Loompa Do-Ba-Dee-Do

Okay so it's prom season again.  How do I know?  All the little teenage girls running around the library looking like oompa loompas and smelling of bananas and coconut from the tanning booths.

Movie Max

Since the demise of Blockbuster the public has been urging us to order more new release titles of movies and t.v. shows on dvd.  Unfortunately, the minute we get them in someone either steals them and throws the broken security cases in the trash or the Brady Bunch family checks out the maximum 3 dvds per person and we never see them again. Sometimes you can find a few of our titles at the local flee market or pawn shop.

Calling Dr. Bombay

Ever wish you were like Samantha on Bewitched and every time you had a medical crisis you could just summon Dr. Bombay and he would instantaneously appear? I get that feeling anytime someone gets sick in the library. I'm subconsciously thinking "Don't throw up or don't pass out until the ambulance gets here".

Royal Pain

I have just been informed that "Miss Jane" has marked her self off the calendar on the day of the Royal wedding so she can sit at home and watch the procession. Only thing is... it's not her home she's staying at. Not only is she taking the day off, she is traveling to another state to watch it in the comfort of her elderly father's home. She's also busy contemplating which wedding souvenirs she is going to purchase to commemorate the big day.

Handcuffed and Hauled Away

Color me surprised! "The Duchess" and "Mr. Sarcasm" teamed up to take out a hooker and her john the other day who were caught in the act in the first floor restroom. I'm surprised either had the gumption to confront the pair. Maybe that's why they had to team up. Two backbones are better than one.

The hooker and her client were barred from the library for 5 years. How they are going to enforce that I have no idea. No one bothered to get their names or make them show an i.d. Maybe it will appear in the police report and we can get their arrest photos to add to our wall of shame?

Yes Ma'am

Sometimes I think that it's impossible to please some people. Literally. No matter what you do or how hard you try, some people are just bound and determined to be miserable and to try and make you miserable too. Going the extra mile for someone like this eventually drives you over the cliff.

Queen Bee of Hearts

Whenever I pass the director's office the "Queen Bee" is either yelling at someone on the phone or sitting at her computer playing Hearts. Guess there just aren't enough things to keep her busy. If she ever caught me playing a game on the computer while staffing the Ref Desk, it would be "off with her head!"

Commute From Hell

I'm really starting to hate mini-vans and the people who drive them. They are always in my way. Driving too slow in the right lane and causing a back up or hogging the left lane and refusing to pass or get over. Get up the road or get out of my way people! I'm under enough stress at the Ref Desk I don't need to add road rage to my list of worries.

Pot and Kettle

Why are the people that are so sensitive about how others talk to them in public lacking the same compunction for their actions when they 'talk down to you' in front of others? Are they just so self-centered that they don't see that they are exhibiting the same behavior that they so despise or is it some sort of display of passive aggressiveness?

Automaton

I love it when I am left alone and can get my groove on. I feel so productive today.

Lost Causes

After one of the latest natural disasters one of my co-workers felt compelled to put out a coffee can to collect money to send to the Red Cross for assistance. I tried to warn her not to leave the can unattended and full of money at the Ref Desk but she didn't listen. She took the time to decorate it and put the Red Cross emblem on it to make it look official but she failed to keep an eye on it and the first time that she left the desk unattended the can was gone. She was devastated that someone would steal money intended for the victims. I wasn't surprised. We have people who steal pens and toilet paper from the library. They are not going to have any qualms about taking ca$h.

Smoke Signals

I don't think smokers realize that they leave a trail of smoke in their wake after they have had a cigarette. Every winter or rainy day we get some wiseacre who is too lazy or too selfish to wander outside in the elements to take a puff and instead goes into the public restroom to light up. Besides the smoke emanating from the bathroom door, the stench of cigarettes lingers in the air, on your clothes, on your breath and is a dead giveaway that you are the guilty party. Leaving ashes on the floor and toilet seats is also not recommended.

Tortoise and the Hare

Have you ever worked with someone who moved so slow that you could literally work circles around them?

Timber!

One of my least favorite activities in the library is waking up the drunken public. We have a policy of no sleeping in the library but it is really hard to enforce when people are passed out drunk and refuse emergency assistance so we have to rouse them up without infringing on their civil liberties and ask them to leave the library sometimes with a security guard escort. They all say the same thing "I wasn't sleeping, I was just resting my eyes". It almost makes me want to pre-record all the loud and obnoxious snores beforehand so I can play back their sawing log noises to them as proof of their condition.

Reach Out and Touch Someone

Our director had to cut down on the number of calls that a certain hearing disabled couple were making via the TTY/TDD machine. It turns out that the wife was using it to call long distance numbers and was running up the library's phone bill.

The 'Queen Bee' also had to cut out international faxes after the great Spanish Lotto controversy because so many of the public were getting duped into sending their actual money to get their "lottery winnings". The cost of the fax call plus replacing the toner and paper was really adding up and the measly fax fee that we charged just wasn't adding up.

Online Catalog

Why do people always approach the online catalog thinking that it is just another Internet accessible machine? They inevitably figure out that it is locked down but why can't they just read the sign above it that says "No Internet Access Available"? I guess it's not safe to assume that just because someone can read a book it doesn't mean that they can also see, read and interpret signage.

Grody to the Max

Why do men in particular like to take the daily newspaper into the bathroom? Our sign clearly says "Please do not remove newspapers from the library" but that doesn't stop a particular gentleman from picking it up and taking it to the bathroom for his morning constitutional only to return it to the same shelf afterwards. Totally gross!

House Calls

My supervisor will be out of the office tomorrow and will be telecommuting from home. My only question is... how do you access a library remotely? Don't you need physical access to the collection? How do you process books, journals and reports from home? This should be interesting...

Can't Remember Sh**

I have too many logins and too many passwords to remember. Why does everything need a PIN number these days? Arrggh!

Over the Hill

Arrgghh. My computer keeps crashing today. I can't get any work done because the stupid system keeps timing out on me and my mouse keeps freezing the cursor on my screen. I want to take this computer and pitch it over the hill.

People With Too Much Time on Their Hands

If I Worked There I Would Slit My Wrists

Partaaaaaaaay

Don't you just love it when your supervisor is in a two hour meeting?  I sure do.

Half-A$$

Is anyone else out there tired of having to overcompensate for people around the office that do everything half-way?  I get so tired of being expected to pick up the extra load because someone else is too overwhelmed and needs to be babied in order for the team to succeed.  If you can't pull your weight, get out of the library.  It's not brain surgery after all.

8 Days a Week

Someone needs to declare an eighth day of the week between Saturday and Sunday.  I just can't get it together with only two days off.  I need an extra day in-between. 

Taxi Cab Confessions

We get people at the Ref Desk all the time asking if they can use our phone to call for a cab. When we point out the fact that there is a pay phone downstairs for public use they always say that they don't have money for the pay phone. But they have money for a cab ride?  Go figure...

Butt Crack of Dawn

Why is it when the weekend comes and you finally have a chance to sleep in you still wake up at the butt crack of dawn?  Life's just not fair sometimes.

Jump the Shark

Why won't MySpace die already?  It's not a friendly, innocent, social network anymore it's filled with johns and prostitutes who use it to see each other naked during 'pool tournaments' and for face-to-face hookups.  Die MySpace Die.

Parenting by Dr. Pepper

I don't get parents these days.  They drag their children into the library so they can spend two hours searching for more hookups on the Internet all the while ignoring the children they already have.  When the kid starts screaming "I'm thirsty" or "I'm hungry" do they take it as a sign that it's time to leave? No! They just pull a bottle filled with cola out of their bag and shove it in the kids mouth expecting them to be quiet.  That's all a jacked up kid needs...more caffeine.

R.I.P.

Well we lost another longtime patron this week.  That makes about five that have died in the last year or so. One died of a long-term illness, one died from a chronic condition, one got hit by a car crossing the street, one was found dead while living on the street and now this one died unexpectedly.  Rest in peace gentleman.

I'm Not Your Bloody Secretary

There is a certain gentleman who likes to use the public Internet computers to conduct his own online business.  Unfortunately he is not very respectful of the women who work in the library.  The men he likes and will talk to freely but the ladies only get orders barked at them. He will come in early in the morning and ask for you to find this and that and make so many number of copies and have it ready for him to pick up when he returns from another appointment.  He also likes to call and ask you to look up 'his' website a couple of times a day just to increase his visitor count.

The 'Office'

The "Lady Wrangler" is a semi-retired gentleman who only 'works' at the library three days a week.  He comes in late usually about 10:30 or 11:00 then promptly takes lunch at noon only to return thirty minutes later to sneak off into his 'office'.  His office consists of a mechanical closet with a reclining lawn chair, a towel, and a box to prop his feet on so he can take a cat nap and rest his weary soul.

Vanishing Act

Why do some people have the innate ability to sense when they will be needed so they make sure that they are no where around when the situation arises?  They are either in a meeting, on a conference call, in the bathroom or just conveniently away from their desk.  Whatever happened to personal accountability?

Cart Before Horse

Don't you just hate it when your supervisor tells you to do something without ever showing you how to do it and then asks "Why didn't you do this?" and "You should have done that first"?  Like duh, I would have followed your directions to a 'T' if only I had been provided them beforehand.

Miss-A-Prop-riate

'Miss Jane' gave a presentation recently at a statewide library conference.  It was supposed to be a panel discussion along with two others but when one person failed to show up "Miss Jane" rose to the occasion and pulled out some props that she brought from home.  In addition to her meager PowerPoint presentation she brought an old Hardy Boys mystery and an early library bulletin for show-and-tell.


Needless to say the throngs attending weren't exactly thrilled with the presentation and she had a few drop-outs in the middle of her prepared speech.  Hope she learns from her mistakes because I've been told that she's been asked to expand on the topic for the big state conference this fall. Sometimes scatterbrained literally makes people scatter. 

Cheese-A-Holic

Just had the best pimento cheese sandwich for lunch.  Mmmm Mmmm good!

Ring A Ding Ding Ernestine

Why do people always migrate towards my desk when they want to have a 'private' cell phone call?  Can't you see I'm busy working?  I don't want to hear about your child, your ex-boyfriend or your bill collector.  Go find a private corner away from me and other people to sit and chat.  Please...

Calgon, Where Are You?

I think I'm having one of those Calgon, take me away days.  I'm afraid if I stop working I won't be able to get started again.  Low energy. Need sleep.  All I want to do is curl up in the back of the stacks or under my desk and take a long nap.  George Costanza sure had the right idea!

Keep On Truckin'

I am in desperate need of a real book truck.  This mail cart has open spaces and the book ends keep slipping through and all my books keep falling over.  I hate wasting time righting everything every time I go to grab a new book to process.

Rain Rain Go Away

Another dark and dreary day at the library.  Need some sunshine.  Hey Mr. Weatherman send us some rays of light not storm clouds.

Here's A Quarter, Call Someone Who Cares

Another thing I really can't stand is when people add their own notes to the margins of books.  Why do you bother returning a damaged book to the library?  No one cares about your opinion.  Keep it to yourself!

Slice and Dice

It really bugs me when people take it upon themselves to cut pictures out of books.  Are they too lazy or too cheap to make a photocopy or do they think they are privileged and deserve a copy of the real thing?  Put away your knives and scissors and pull out your wallet and make a photocopy for a change.

Lady Liberty?

I had a person, not sure if it was a man or a woman, jump out in the street and run across in front of my car dressed like the Statue of Liberty.  Had the green robe, had the crown, the sceptre, everything.  Don't know where they were going or what the heck they were doing. 

szechuan dreams update

Okay, I think I am officially foundered on the sesame noodles.  After eating them just about everyday for lunch for the last week, the sodium is starting to give me a headache.  It was good while it lasted though.

Honey-Do Lists, Perhaps?

Saw a curious thing the other day while sitting outside the local Starbucks, a man pulled up and parked his SUV and quickly ran inside to fulfill his caffeine fix.  I looked over and saw an extraordinary number of post it notes of all colors, shapes and sizes stuck to the inside of the driver side windshield.  How could someone possibly see out of the window to drive much less function with a bunch of words on scraps of paper circling their line of vision?  Were they honey-do reminders or driving directions?  Put key in ignition, turn key, put car into gear, put foot on gas, etc.?

Serial Killaz

Can anyone else out there instinctively recall exact call numbers for certain types of books when asked?  I always get curious looks when the criminal justice students from the local college come in wanting to do a research paper on serial killers and I automatically rattle off 364.1523 (the true crime section).

A Walk In 'Her' Shoes

"Miss Jane" came up to me once and casually asked what size shoe I wear.  I didn't give it a moments thought and responded but then she offered to give me a pair of mens shoes that were too small for her.  I thanked her for the offer but told her that I don't usually wear mens shoes, a t-shirt maybe, but definitely not shoes.  She apparently has a size 11 foot and often wears mens hand-me-downs from her friend the former male A.D.  They seem to have the same shoe size and exchange shoes quite often.  I just wonder if he wears her high-heels too?